Rotating Lusts
Rotating Lusts
(If you like this story there are tons more here. You can also find a whole bunch of different books I’ve written right here. So, you’ve got a whole lot to enjoy. Check them out please. Thank you.)
That girl is really beautiful. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more attractive woman in my life. What a face, what a figure, what clothes. I mean if she were anymore perfect I’d say she’d been digitally enhanced. Geeze, it’s been half an hour and she’d all I can think about. That’s not normal even for a horndog like me.
Wait a minute. Here comes another one. She’s a little younger but boy is she lovely. An absolute knockout. Man, I’d like to get to know her. I’ll bet she’d funny or better yet, will think I’m funny. I’m a pretty funny guy actually. I’m super friendly and everyone love me. Mmm.
A week later he was in church and saw her. A young girl he’d never seen before. The dew of youth and innocence was fresh upon her and her golden hair flew and bounced as she made her way across the sanctuary. Ohh, what a fine-looking young woman. Girl. And look, her mom is stunning too. Holy mackerel. Holy cow! Finally, her pushed the visions of loveliness from his mind and concentrated on the sermon. It was a good one. It was about sin and the pastor was against it.
Frankie had a snack, read his bible and normally he would have headed to his old brown leather recliner for a nap. Today, however, the nap would have to wait. He strapped on his armor, put on his helmet, checked his sword and sat down at the dining room table to wait. He didn’t have to wait long. After a few moments a thought entered his mind. But instead of coming in like a roaring lion like all that lust over the last three days it crept into his mind like a timid little mouse who really wants that bit of cheese. Frankie sensed the evil spirit and addressed him as he came in the side door leading to the wrap around porch.
“You there. Stop.”
The demon stopped.
“Come over here and sit in that chair.”
The demon stayed where he was.
“In the name of Jesus of Nazareth come over here and sit down in that chair. NOW.”
The devil sat down.
“Now, I can’t see you and you can see me but I can sure enough smell you and sense you. You and I are going to have some words.”
“Ok.” said the demon contritely. And Frankie heard him just like he heard him when he was pouring lies into his ear.
“What’s your name?”
“Lucifer.”
“Hahaha. It might be Lucious or Ludicrous but it most definitely not Lucifer.”
“How do you know that?”
“I am small potatoes and there is no way the prince of darkness would waste his time bothering me when he could get a demon third class to harass me.”
“2nd class. I was promoted last month.”
“So, what’s with all the lady temptations lately?”
“What do you mean?”
“Why are you making them hyper beautiful then telling me I cannot live without them?
“Well, I am a devil.”
“Yes, but why me, why now. Frankly I’m tired of it.”
“Why you is because I am your tempting devil.”
“My tempting devil?”
“Yeah, you know, guarding angel. Tempting devil.”
“Is that even a thing?”
“Do you want it to be a thing?”
“No.”
“Ok. No prob. So, I tempted you with all those girls and women because you’re an easy mark for that temptation.”
“Hey!”
“Oh, and did you notice last week, when I told you to lust after that woman in the gauzy black top, when you thought about her then I threw in some first-rate condemnation too, just to ice the cake. Not ever demon can give a two-pronged attack like that.”
“Ok, so you were behind those insane lust attacks.”
“Yes. I was and if you think you could have come up with that intensity all on your own boy are you deceived.”
“Ok, well, you’ve had your fun and now you are done.”
“Wait a minute. I worked hard on those gigs. I mean really, the least you could do is give into one or two of them.”
“No. I don’t think so.”
“You know you want to.”
“Of course, I do. I’m still sinful and wicked but I like to think of what Captain Kirk said.”
“Ohh, Kirk. Now there was a man who knew his way around the ladies. He had one in every port. Sometimes more than one.”
Kirk said, “That’s right, we are cold blooded killers…”
“See! I love that guy. That’s what I’m talking about.”
“But just for today we will not kill. We are lustful wicked men but just for today we will contain our lust and not act on our wickedness’s.
“Kirk never said all that. Rodenberry would never have let him.”
“I amplified it.”
“Oh. Ok, I guess.”
“So, I’m gonna turn on my audio bible and give myself a nice spiritual shower. You want to stick around and hear it?”
“No. Not today. I don’t like the narrator’s voice. It’s grading.”
“I got lot of versions. Bound to be one that’s less grading.”
“I’ll pass.”
“Oh, before you do I wanted to tell you about your new buddy.”
“I have a new buddy? I can’t even stand myself. who would want to be my friend?”
“Mal.”
“Mal? Mmm. Who is this, Mal? And does he like Battleship? I love to cheat at Battleship.”
“He loves it and he told me he’s gonna stick by your side forever.”
“Mmm. that doesn’t sound like anyone I’ve ever met. I mean who’d want to hang out with a demon 3rd class?”
“I thought you were promoted last month?”
“It’s coming. This month or next. I feel it. For sursies! So how do I meet this Mal, my new BFF.”
“He’s waiting for you in eternity.”
“Wait a minute. What kind of a person is this guy?”
“He’s a worm.”
“A worm?”
“Maggot actually. And he’s indestructible. And he’s gonna stick by you closer than a brother.”
“Ahhh, you’re talking about Hell where the worm never dies. Ahhh.”
“X’actly. I think his name is Malnourished.”
“Ahhh.”
“Malcontent?”
“Ahhh.”
“I’m running out of Mal’s. Can you throw me a line here?”
“Malware?”
“Mmm. Not bad. Now, I gotta listen to my bible and you gotta train to catch.”
“I don’t have any train to…”
“Sure you do. The train of his robe filled the temple. Ahh .here it is now. In the name of Jesus of Nazareth, I command you demon to leave this home and not come back again. I plead the blood of Jesus on my mind and my family and all those women you had me panting after. Amen.”
“Agggh…” His scream was cut short as a mighty force picked up the fallen angel and physically threw him out of town. Somewhere in Eternity Mal the grub smiled. Frankie listened to his bible. The guy’s voice was a little raspy. Then he made a sandwich and found a nice nap in his old brown leather chair. The End.
(If you like this story there are tons more here. You can also find a whole bunch of different books I’ve written right here. So, you’ve got a whole lot to enjoy. Check them out please. Thank you.)
That girl is really beautiful. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more attractive woman in my life. What a face, what a figure, what clothes. I mean if she were anymore perfect I’d say she’d been digitally enhanced. Geeze, it’s been half an hour and she’d all I can think about. That’s not normal even for a horndog like me.
Wait a minute. Here comes another one. She’s a little younger but boy is she lovely. An absolute knockout. Man, I’d like to get to know her. I’ll bet she’d funny or better yet, will think I’m funny. I’m a pretty funny guy actually. I’m super friendly and everyone love me. Mmm.
A week later he was in church and saw her. A young girl he’d never seen before. The dew of youth and innocence was fresh upon her and her golden hair flew and bounced as she made her way across the sanctuary. Ohh, what a fine-looking young woman. Girl. And look, her mom is stunning too. Holy mackerel. Holy cow! Finally, her pushed the visions of loveliness from his mind and concentrated on the sermon. It was a good one. It was about sin and the pastor was against it.
Frankie had a snack, read his bible and normally he would have headed to his old brown leather recliner for a nap. Today, however, the nap would have to wait. He strapped on his armor, put on his helmet, checked his sword and sat down at the dining room table to wait. He didn’t have to wait long. After a few moments a thought entered his mind. But instead of coming in like a roaring lion like all that lust over the last three days it crept into his mind like a timid little mouse who really wants that bit of cheese. Frankie sensed the evil spirit and addressed him as he came in the side door leading to the wrap around porch.
“You there. Stop.”
The demon stopped.
“Come over here and sit in that chair.”
The demon stayed where he was.
“In the name of Jesus of Nazareth come over here and sit down in that chair. NOW.”
The devil sat down.
“Now, I can’t see you and you can see me but I can sure enough smell you and sense you. You and I are going to have some words.”
“Ok.” said the demon contritely. And Frankie heard him just like he heard him when he was pouring lies into his ear.
“What’s your name?”
“Lucifer.”
“Hahaha. It might be Lucious or Ludicrous but it most definitely not Lucifer.”
“How do you know that?”
“I am small potatoes and there is no way the prince of darkness would waste his time bothering me when he could get a demon third class to harass me.”
“2nd class. I was promoted last month.”
“So, what’s with all the lady temptations lately?”
“What do you mean?”
“Why are you making them hyper beautiful then telling me I cannot live without them?
“Well, I am a devil.”
“Yes, but why me, why now. Frankly I’m tired of it.”
“Why you is because I am your tempting devil.”
“My tempting devil?”
“Yeah, you know, guarding angel. Tempting devil.”
“Is that even a thing?”
“Do you want it to be a thing?”
“No.”
“Ok. No prob. So, I tempted you with all those girls and women because you’re an easy mark for that temptation.”
“Hey!”
“Oh, and did you notice last week, when I told you to lust after that woman in the gauzy black top, when you thought about her then I threw in some first-rate condemnation too, just to ice the cake. Not ever demon can give a two-pronged attack like that.”
“Ok, so you were behind those insane lust attacks.”
“Yes. I was and if you think you could have come up with that intensity all on your own boy are you deceived.”
“Ok, well, you’ve had your fun and now you are done.”
“Wait a minute. I worked hard on those gigs. I mean really, the least you could do is give into one or two of them.”
“No. I don’t think so.”
“You know you want to.”
“Of course, I do. I’m still sinful and wicked but I like to think of what Captain Kirk said.”
“Ohh, Kirk. Now there was a man who knew his way around the ladies. He had one in every port. Sometimes more than one.”
Kirk said, “That’s right, we are cold blooded killers…”
“See! I love that guy. That’s what I’m talking about.”
“But just for today we will not kill. We are lustful wicked men but just for today we will contain our lust and not act on our wickedness’s.
“Kirk never said all that. Rodenberry would never have let him.”
“I amplified it.”
“Oh. Ok, I guess.”
“So, I’m gonna turn on my audio bible and give myself a nice spiritual shower. You want to stick around and hear it?”
“No. Not today. I don’t like the narrator’s voice. It’s grading.”
“I got lot of versions. Bound to be one that’s less grading.”
“I’ll pass.”
“Oh, before you do I wanted to tell you about your new buddy.”
“I have a new buddy? I can’t even stand myself. who would want to be my friend?”
“Mal.”
“Mal? Mmm. Who is this, Mal? And does he like Battleship? I love to cheat at Battleship.”
“He loves it and he told me he’s gonna stick by your side forever.”
“Mmm. that doesn’t sound like anyone I’ve ever met. I mean who’d want to hang out with a demon 3rd class?”
“I thought you were promoted last month?”
“It’s coming. This month or next. I feel it. For sursies! So how do I meet this Mal, my new BFF.”
“He’s waiting for you in eternity.”
“Wait a minute. What kind of a person is this guy?”
“He’s a worm.”
“A worm?”
“Maggot actually. And he’s indestructible. And he’s gonna stick by you closer than a brother.”
“Ahhh, you’re talking about Hell where the worm never dies. Ahhh.”
“X’actly. I think his name is Malnourished.”
“Ahhh.”
“Malcontent?”
“Ahhh.”
“I’m running out of Mal’s. Can you throw me a line here?”
“Malware?”
“Mmm. Not bad. Now, I gotta listen to my bible and you gotta train to catch.”
“I don’t have any train to…”
“Sure you do. The train of his robe filled the temple. Ahh .here it is now. In the name of Jesus of Nazareth, I command you demon to leave this home and not come back again. I plead the blood of Jesus on my mind and my family and all those women you had me panting after. Amen.”
“Agggh…” His scream was cut short as a mighty force picked up the fallen angel and physically threw him out of town. Somewhere in Eternity Mal the grub smiled. Frankie listened to his bible. The guy’s voice was a little raspy. Then he made a sandwich and found a nice nap in his old brown leather chair. The End.