Letter to the ice cream girl
Letter to the ice cream girl
There is a girl on here. A mom. Cute. Sassy. Writes well. She wrote a story about being in Greece with her kids and how the pervy ice cream vendor and some other guys were creeping on her. So, I thought, “This topic is a hornet’s nest. Only a fool or simpleton would take that stick over there, jam it up into the nest, rattle it around a bit just to see what would happen. So, of course I didn’t. I first found an ever longer poky-er stick and then instead of shoving it into the opening, I proceeded to whack the living daylights outta that hive. And here are the results.
Men are horn dogs. Plain and simple. On one episode of 30 rock a man was lamenting to Alec Baldwin, “I’m a man. I think about sex every sixteen seconds. It was some ridicules number like that. But then I began to wonder. Is it really that often? Or worse, what if I’m above or below average. I don’t want to be falling behind or miss out on this deal.
So, the girl with the nice smile and the two kids goes out for ice cream in the shadow of the Acropolis and the ice cream vendor notices she is not wearing a bra. He tells her apologetically he was blown away by her. She laughs nervously and pretends she doesn’t understand he is sexually drawn to her.
Perv. Except maybe he’s not.
I had a friend when he first met his wife, she was playing softball and he was the new coach. It was hot and she was not wearing a bra. At the end of the game, he rebuked her. She was the reason half the guys on the team were standing there with their tongues out. Her rebuttal?
“It’s hot out here.” That was reason enough to go au naturel. She was in charge of her body and could wear what she wanted when she wanted. She was also exceptional beautiful. Still is.
We are attracted to beauty. We desire it and want to bring it into our homes to keep it. Men and woman want someone attractive to look at across the breakfast table. Of course, that someone might have to shave and shower and primp a bit but it’s just nice to see someone attractive looking back at you. It’s not often a man goes looking for a bridge troll though some might like yellow crooked missing teeth in a six-hundred-pound burlap covered frame. So, boys like to see a pretty girl when they can.
It lifts your spirits. Even if there is no interaction. They are just nice to look at. The ice cream girl was nice to look at. And without an undergarment that was a bonus. Here is a pretty girl with no bra. Wow. My lucky day.
Now, because of the way men are hard wired you need to understand what it instantly means to a man when he sees a girl not wearing a bra. It means she is adventurous. Exciting. A rebel. An outsider who flaunts convention. A woman who knows her mind and acts on it. She has promise. Yes, yes, yes, I get that to the woman it means I just don’t feel like being strangled today. I’d like to just do life without being swaddled, squished, compressed or shielded.
A man is hard wired to find a pretty girl. This is like breathing. She could be four blocks away crossing the street behind him and without knowing why he will turn, scan the air, then spot her and breathe a sigh of relief. “Whew, I almost missed her.”
What the man doesn’t know yet but should is that he will not miss her. Ever! He cannot help but spot her. He will find her every single time without even trying. His beauty radar had her on its scope the moment she left the house and has been tracking her like NORAD painting Santa Claus racing over the polar ice cap.
Instead of nervous laughing the girl might say to the ice cream man, “Look Raw Dog, I understand the girls have got your attention. That’s OK. You’re a man and you’re supposed to notice when they are unleashed. But they are not for you. I am not for you.”
Crushed but only momentarily the man would understand, “She is playing hard to get. Wonderful. I love a challenge.”
I think of Chris Tucker in the movie Rush Hour. Throughout the movie Zhang Ziyi a stunning Chinese actress and model has been trying to kill him. And at the final showdown a battered and bloody Ziyi shuffles painfully toward him carrying a bomb Tucker laments, “Dang woman. We could a had something special. We could a been together but now you went and spoiled it all.”
Never mind she was wearing a bra. She was beautiful and that’s all it takes for a man to see a pretty face and in half a nanosecond he is off with her sipping wine on the terrace of an Italian villa as they watch the sunset. Coming back to the here and now, after sharing the sunset with her in his mind he understands they have an unspoken agreement. They are for each other. Soulmates. That she is repulsed by his candor and frank appreciation affects him not in the least. Men are romantics dreamers like that and it only takes a moment to see a girl to consider could she be the one. Of course she is. The matter is resolved in his mind and he tells her he was blown away by one glance. She should understand. He’s not being pervy or creepy. He’s only being honest. To the woman this is totally skeevy, perverse and perverted. “What’s wrong with you? Why would you even begin to entertain that notion?”
And the man would look at here completely flumfloxed and ask her, “What’s wrong with you? I did nothing wrong? Only told you you were beautiful and you treat me like a leper? It’s you who are in the wrong, thinking I am objectifying you when I was only appreciating your beauty. Nothing more.”
I know what it’s like to be creeped on. Woman would hire me not to do work, but to watch me with thinly veiled lust. I could feel it in their stares and it was icky. Made me feel dirty and question did I do something wrong.”
Jesus said, “Whoever looks at a person with lust in their heart has already committed adultery with them.” Woah. Hold on God. I was only looking at what you made. I wasn’t undressing her.
So, to the girl with the two kids and the ice cream cones melting in the hot Greek sun, no, you don’t want to be a guy. Not for a moment. There is a fire in their brain that never goes away. Ever. Ever. Ever. God has made men to want to procreate. Pretty much all the time. With almost everything they see. And they might have to have a few drinks but even that six hundred lb. bridge troll if they have to but they are wired to want to mate. Early and often and continually. Till the day they die.
And woman want love and understanding. And chocolate. They don’t want to be objectified. Reduced to just a bedroom encounter. Then you bring in Jesus into the mix and he says to both men and woman. You can look. You can appreciate. You may not debase them to lift yourself up. So, a follower of Jesus walks the best line of all. But it’s a narrow tightrope. Appreciation without taking it further to objectification and debasing lust.
We need the wisdom of Captain Kirk up in here! When a powerful spirit entity hijacked the Enterprise crew and a bunch of Klingon’s in there with them Kirk found the answer. The malevolent creature fed on anger and hated and Kirk finally figured out how to get the monster off his ship. He told the Klingon Commander, “Yes, we are bloody savage murders but just for today we will choose not to murder. We are killers and cheats and unfaithful. But just for today we will not be those things. And the monster, cut off from his free lunch left them. And we need to do the same. And tell our passions, “Yes, I want to sleep with everyone I see. I want to put a baby in each of them and drink and party and throw off all restraints. But God has given me a new life in Christ. So, I will control my passions. I control my thoughts and I can choose not to undress or lust after woman and men. I can choose to enjoy their beauty without perving on them. That’s the challenge anyway. And brother Paul nailed it when he described what I’m trying to say a lot easier. “Oh, wretched man, who shall deliver me from this body?” His answer is good for you and me and the girl in Greece with the kids and the ice cream melting in the sun. Jesus Christ can deliver us. Jesus is the answer to your struggles. The End.